fluxandpause:

Pros of being gay: both you and your wife would get into the lifeboats on the titanic.

(via thickmints)

spenceromg:

do your eyes ever randomly go out of focus and then you are too lazy to focus them back in and just stare at nothing for a while

(via thickmints)

and-down-we-go:

My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”

but she hit send when all it said was

Hi Jeffrey,
      I am afraid

(via thickmints)